Temper Tantrums and Damage Limitation

Well, this blog looks like it’s becoming a weekly habit rather than a daily habit, as I’d hoped. I’m starting to develop a pattern of being good during the week, and by good I mean angelic. I stick to my points, I have a routine, I exercise (yes, me, I exercise) and I really think about what I’m doing. Then the weekend hits and I snap back into being the person I don’t want to be. Partly because there’s no routine, something new happens every weekend and I just don’t prepare for it. I make bad choices, like binging on McDonalds on Saturday AND Sunday, as well as eating normal meals. I hate having to write that down.

I’m still feeling positive in general, as I know I’m making progress with changing how I think about food. My colleague at work brought lunch in on Monday for both of us, as planned. She made tuna pasta mayo with salad and it was yummy. It’s not the kind of thing I usually bring even though I like it because I can never be bothered. It’s my turn tomorrow and I’m a bit stuck for ideas. I think it will be a chilli if I can’t think of anything else but I’ll see what I can come up with tonight.

Last week I had a really stressful day at work and was late coming home and D had too. So we decided to rent a DVD and cuddle up on the couch, and we had meatballs and spaghetti for dinner that we had bought the day before which D was going to cook. But after we got the DVD, I started on about getting a takeaway. D stood strong and refused to let me get one. I bargained, I argued, I pleaded, I nearly cried. He said no. I sulked, I stropped and pouted. We drove home. He talked some sense into me, I calmed down and apologised and thanked him. I then did 45 minutes on Wii Just Dance, we ate meatballs and spaghetti and watched the film.

Normally, D would have caved in and we would have got takeaway, I would have eaten too much rubbish food, especially considering our local takeaways are not that great, and I would have regretted it. D stood firm and we talked it through, and I did exercise in order to try and improve my mood. I felt so much better afterwards and we had a lovely evening. It really made me think about my relationship with food and when I eat badly and why. Generally it is due to stress or boredom. Two binges on McDonalds food on the weekend when I’m visiting my family is no coincidence.

But this has bigger consequences than just blowing my diet for the week, it also means I then don’t go to my meeting because I can’t bear to have it marked on my card that I have gained. So I seem to be going to meetings every other week which is bad because I could do with the support. What’s needed is a real push this week to get my weekend act together. I’ll be faced with big challenges this weekend as we are going to visit D’s father in Wales whose hobby seems to be cooking delicious roast dinner meals and feeding me up. His meals are enormous portions and there’s always chocolate and biscuits on offer. So, my plan of action is to save points throughout the week, exercise my ass off and try and limit the damage at the weekend. This means getting D on side to help restrain his father with portions as it’s not unhealthy food, just vast quantities of it. I could tell his father I’ve got a tummy bug and I’m not eating very much, which is another damage limitation option.

At the end of the day though, if it takes me twice as long to lose the weight, then that is what it will take. Weight coming off slowly is better than weight going on. But I am impatient!